Rhiannon’s journey to Why me?
This is a blog by our Team Administrator, Rhiannon Vivian.
When I applied for the Team Administrator role at Why me? I had decided that I wanted to pursue a career in the charity sector. I’d spent many years writing for brands, and prior to that, working in magazines. Both were interesting, varied, and colourful, but I’d reached a point where I wanted to know that the work I was doing could possibly change something, or someone’s life for the good. Even in a small and indirect way. This shift felt both sudden and gradual. I wondered if it was in part due to becoming a first time mum. Suddenly all of the world’s wrongs felt louder, brasher, and more confronting. Maybe it was a simple fact of age – the older you get the less tolerant you are of injustice and the more you question things. Maybe it was a natural end to a particular season of my life (did I want to spitball fancy names for consumables into my dotage?)
I am also fascinated by human behaviour, relationships and psychology, so reading about Restorative Justice was such an eye opener. It is remarkable and life changing for both the harmed person and the harmer, and encourages a vulnerability and self reflection that so many of us (even in daily life) lack. And, of course, scope for apology, no matter the scale of the harm.
A lot of us seem to struggle with the word sorry. Sorry fully – like you mean it. And even those of us who are pretty ok at saying sorry don’t always get it right. Sometimes the apologies come out wrong, half baked, or not fully formed in the moment of anger or irritation. Have we always been so proud? Why is humility so hard? There’s a level of shame involved, without a doubt. But an apology when you’ve genuinely done something wrong, even in a low-stakes setting, can immediately take the sting out of a situation, change the atmosphere, and positively redirect the course of a relationship.
Digging deeper into the work that Why me? does has been very inspiring. In a society focused primarily on punitive measures when it comes to crime and conflict, a restorative dialogue is actually far more effective and impactful on both sides. I was impressed with those who had been through it and told their story. Until I read the many case studies, I couldn’t quite believe that harmer and harmed could meet, talk, and positively move forward. Restorative Justice even leads to a 14% reduction in the rate of reoffending.
Restorative Justice is so important to shout about, particularly as I personally think that in our current society, often those in positions of power and privilege appear to be so allergic to reparations and accountability. It’s not really modelled from the top down. I think that is why I am so in awe – and proud – of every person who has gone through Restorative Justice on both sides. I think it is admirable, brave, and intelligent. It actually makes me emotional. But it really shouldn’t feel exceptional.
I would love to see a time where Restorative Justice is so commonplace that it’s simply woven into the fabric of our justice system, and our day to day lives. My utopian wish is that we can all become gentler and more understanding in a reimagined overculture that supports communication, vulnerability, healing, and resolution.
