Stella’s Story
Stella was a high school student, attending a Canada Day beach party with her friends when she was “brutally raped” by an acquaintance. She later met the person who attacked her in a face-to-face Restorative Justice meeting, giving her healing and empowerment that she otherwise would never have achieved. Please note, this case was not conducted in the UK.
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At the beginning of the summer, as a COVID quarantine came to an end, Stella and her friends attended a party on the beach to commemorate Canada Day. It was at this party that she was raped by an acquaintance. “He had gone to my high school, but we didn’t really know each other at all. And in like 15 minutes, he brutally raped me in a bush on the beach.”
Stella reported the attack to the police and completed a rape kit, pressing charges a week later. She was subjected to a police interview lasting 3-4 hours, where she felt that the officer was aiming to “discredit” her story. Most of the people in Stella’s life were also called upon to give statements to the police. As the perpetrator was in Stella’s social circle, and many friends and acquaintances also attended the party, rumours and false information spread quickly.
Following the interviews and collection of statements, the court process stalled and Stella was left waiting for years with little progress.
The introduction of Restorative Justice
Whilst she was waiting to hear more about the case, a family friend who was writing a thesis on Restorative Justice at the time raised the idea with Stella. At a later date, the perpetrator’s lawyer also suggested Restorative Justice. The idea was raised with the Crown Counsel who argued that it was not appropriate in this case. After going back and forth several times, it was accepted that Restorative Justice would be a useful outcome. Stella was given the option of going ahead with a trial, doing a trial alongside Restorative Justice or just taking part in Restorative Justice.
Stella was reluctant to go to trial, knowing how retraumatising the court process could be. Since both parties were 16 years old at the time of the crime, the participants decided that Restorative Justice would be the most impactful way to move forward.
Beginning the process
Both Stella and the person who attacked her were assigned a mentor, who met with them repeatedly over a 6 month period to establish what their needs were. The mentor’s approach was flexible, allowing Stella to take her time – “she just really let me lead our discussions, and I never felt like I had to talk about anything I didn’t want to, which was the first time that had happened since I had pressed charges… that flexibility was really important to me.”
After several weeks of meetings, Stella’s mentor helped her to establish what she wanted to get out of the restorative process; “I really wanted an apology”. While the professionals working with Stella made it clear that an apology was not guaranteed, she wanted to go ahead regardless. By speaking to her mentor, Stella discovered additional things that she wanted to get out of the process, “it became really important to me to tell him my perspective of what happened”, particularly in light of the rumours being spread around their social circle.
They discussed the different options available under Restorative Justice, including writing a letter. Stella decided that she “really wanted to sit across from him”, so they prepared for a face to face meeting. Stella and her mentor visited the meeting location in advance, discussing details such as who was going to sit where.
Stella felt extremely nervous in advance of the meeting, having not seen her perpetrator at all in the year and a half since the crime. After discussing this with her mentor, it was arranged for the harmer to send a short video recording of him talking to Stella so she could familiarise herself with him again in advance of the meeting. “I just really appreciated that my mentor went that extra step to get that to make me feel more comfortable.” Both parties and their mentors, along with two facilitators then met face to face for the Restorative Justice meeting.
A face to face meeting
In the meeting, the perpetrator explained how his attitudes towards women and being surrounded by rape jokes from a young age affected his view of consent. However, he did not use this as an excuse for his actions and took full responsibility for the harm he had caused. “He gave me a very genuine, very heartfelt apology and then we hugged, actually, because I think neither of us wanted the last time we touched each other, to be then (the attack)”
Stella and the harmer agreed a set of terms for moving forward after the meeting. This included the harmer providing a written apology, paying for Stella’s counselling after the attack, reading ‘Know my name’ by Chanel Miller and working with someone who had previously committed sexual offences but was now rehabilitated. The agreement also stated that the harmer had to tell the truth whenever he talked about the attack moving forward.
A chance for healing
“I got healing from the process that I wouldn’t have got otherwise, and closure that I wouldn’t have got otherwise. I think that if I did a trial, I would have just been retraumatized over again, and then have to heal from that.”
Discussing the impact of meeting her attacker face to face, Stella said “I walked away feeling like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders”.
“I didn’t even realize that was going to happen. I thought it was going to be more for him than for me. But then I ended up getting so much out of it… For me it kind of did commemorate the end of this process… and this was the beginning for him.”
In terms of the perpetrator, Stella said “I think it kind of rocked his whole world about these morals and values that he had, and he was like, this obviously isn’t right.” Without the meeting, Stella felt that the harmer would never have realised the impact of the attack. “From what he said in the dialogue, I think that he would have done this again if it wasn’t for Restorative Justice.”
“It’s really empowering to tell the person who assaulted you what happened in your words and how that impacted you in a safe space, without worrying they’re going to interrupt or say anything back. It’s a totally safe space where you know that your voice is heard and prioritised.”
Following her experience of Restorative Justice, Stella has gone on to speak at conferences and criminology lectures.
“So many people don’t know about restorative justice… I can tell the story”