My journey to understanding the power in being heard
This is a blog by our Restorative Justice Programme Manager, Anika Cosgrove.
Reflecting on my own life experiences, I realise how profoundly the act of hearing someone’s voice can transform pain into empowerment, both for the speaker and the listener.
As a child, I faced significant challenges, struggling with debilitating eczema and asthma that left me feeling vulnerable, isolated and different from other children. Alongside shyness, I often felt like a shadow, only acknowledged by the unkind words and actions of others. My voice was quiet and with no acknowledgement of harm, I felt invisible.
I began to learn about Restorative Justice as a young adult. The concept and the endless possibilities of supporting those who have been harmed, ignited my imagination. I began to advocate and champion Restorative Justice with passion. With hindsight, was I able to mentalise? Did I see it as more than a process? Honestly, no.
Well into adulthood, my childhood illnesses behind me, I was enjoying all the wonderful things that life can bring. However soon enough, a new challenge came into my life, harm had me feel invisible once again. I can say, without hesitation, it was the most difficult period of my life. It was a frustrating paradox. The ability to lift up those who had been harmed but unable to lift myself.
This time, I was provided with the time and space to share my story, free from judgment and expectations. A willingness to listen allowed me to explore my feelings, reflect on my experiences and choose how I wanted to move forward. These people were instrumental in my transformation; empowered me to take back control and heal. These conversations weren’t intentionally “restorative”, nor was there a willing harmer. However, the restorative values were clear to see, which completely reshaped my view of Restorative Justice.
Now, it wasn’t just a process, its success wasn’t based on service outcomes, and the harmers remorse was irrelevant to success. Facilitation for me, became a place to truly listen, where victims and survivors could share their experiences, often for the first time, without fear of dismissal. A place where people could reclaim their power, regardless of an apologetic harmer. The act of creating intentional space to listen, was instrumental to the healing process. Now each story shared with me, not only was a testament to human resilience and strength, but I could physically see the profound impact of providing a platform for someone’s story.
I am immensely grateful for the processes I have been trusted with, for each victim and survivor who felt safe enough to share their truths. Witnessing their journeys to empowerment has been one of the most rewarding aspects of my life. It has reinforced my belief that when we create spaces for open dialogue and validation, we not only honour the pain of those who have suffered but also foster their healing. The values of the people who helped me through harm, became part of me. These values encourage me to listen with empathy and compassion, transforming silence into strength and pain into empowerment.
In a world that is fast paced, often prioritising quick fixes over deep understanding, Restorative Justice reminds me of the importance of hearing someone’s voice. Through lived and professional experiences, I can testify that through restorative practice, we can help each other reclaim our voices and reshape our narratives.
